Concentration

For the first time ever in the history of Monday mornings, I got to wake up with one task in front of me: to work on my book manuscript. I didn't need to worry about money, about food, about shelter, about my job. In fact, I didn't need to worry at all. I needed to instead focus on doing only that which nourishes my spirit.

And wow is it a great feeling.

I've talked about how I was about to step into a new chapter in my life, which has been coming since I made the decision to end the old one in late November. Well, today was page one in this chapter. A big blank page that I filled up completely and even spilled over into adjacent pages, as I poured my energy out and into my work.

Today I've written, not including this blog, 3500 words (about 13 pages) for my manuscript. Some of it is probably good and some if it probably awful, but I believe this is the most writing I've ever done in one sitting - and probably because I had the time and mental energy available to give.

I've always felt that I had a lot to say but that it was stuck behind a cement wall. I've written before about how I felt it cracking, little slivers of light poking through and a cool breeze tickling my cheek. But I think it's cracking open even further on the heels of a really rough few years. And it's so big now that I can see the sun.

I wonder when this wall will crumble away completely so that I can fully step into the light?

I've given myself four to six weeks of concentration (on my personal work) and rest (for my body and spirit). With 262 pages now under my belt, I'm feeling rather confident that I'm about to have a book ready. One that is finally me and that perhaps I'll be able to start shopping around by summertime.

We'll see, though. Let's not get too far ahead of myself.

For now I am glad to have had a rather productive day and I'm going to leave it on a high note. I don't know what I'm going to do next since it's only 3:00 in the afternoon, but I think perhaps reading is a good idea. Or maybe I'll poke into my local Target and pick up a couple of things we need. Or maybe I'll stare out the window at the clusters of naked branches that make up the trees that are rooted along the sidewalk.

The nice thing is, no matter what I decide to do, I feel free.