I always thought that to be a "real" writer you had to write books. Like the ultimate end goal was to produce something bound together in paper, with a defined story arc, of a significant length that could be revered or hated.
And so of course as a writer I've tried to write books. Three times, to be exact. And I do think I will finally finish the one I'm working on at some point. But beyond that, the truth is that I honestly don't know if I can write books. Or if I want to write books.
In fact, I don't think that I do. Which still bemoans me to admit.
Today I was lying on the couch curled up in a ball, with my throat hurting from a bacterial infection and my stomach hurting from the antibiotic I had taken. And of course it's in these unthinking kinds of moments that the "stuff" hiding in our minds comes to the forefront.
My next book had already been formed in my head for a few months and I was pretty excited about it. But this afternoon I realized I was choosing the wrong medium. A book? No. I wanted to write a book because I wanted to be a writer. But really, I just want to write. And I don't think I want to write a book about this.
And so I picked up my cell phone without really moving from the fetal position, and I went to my favorite domain website (GoDaddy) and purchased a domain. And now the title of my next book is the title of a new website that I own.
www.WeAreYogis.com
I'm not sure where this is going to take me yet - maybe nowhere, to be honest. Because on any given day I have a number of fleeting ideas that come through my brain. But the fact that my latest book idea isn't a book anymore is actually OK with me.
Because you know what I'm realizing? That I don't have to be like everyone else. That I don't have to conform to any standard set by society or by history or by any other arbitrary entity. That I am a writer just by writing, anywhere and in any format. And that is enough.
