Surrendering To Your Story

Yesterday I was thinking about the different story ideas I'm juggling, and the novels I currently have in progress, and I came to the conclusion that sometimes the story you want to tell just doesn't want to be told (and then we find ourselves in writer's block). And conversely, that the story you don't necessarily want to focus on is actually screaming to be written (otherwise known as schizophrenic writer syndrome).

And what I've decided is that you've just got to surrender to the story - to the story, that is, that must be told.

I had a really fabulous novel idea a few years ago and I actually have about 20k words written already. I was pumping the words out so fast that I wrote those 20k words in about three weeks. But then it sort of sputtered, and stopped, and I simply couldn't make it go any further. And even though I saw the potential for greatness, I just couldn't create a story. I still can't create a story.

And as much as I want to write that story, it doesn't seem to want to be told. At least not right now. But what does seem to want to be told is a new story idea that I have. One that started with an image of a homeless man at a soup kitchen that sort of jumped into my vision years ago. It's for my next novel, The Man In The Suit.

This story doesn't have the entertainment value of the first story that I was trying to craft. It also doesn't have any mystical elements woven into it or the thrill of a Paris backdrop. But it's prodding at me, constantly, telling me that this story is the one that needs to be written.

So I guess today my advice is to surrender to whatever story it is that moves you, even if it's not the one you wish would do so. If you find yourself with writer's block, maybe put it away for a while. Or a year. Or ten. And see what story really wants to be told right now.

It's possible, I think, to come back to a story you wanted to write and breathe new life into it. Maybe it just wasn't the right time the first time around. I hope that's the case with the novel I wasn't able to finish, anyway. But I guess all I can do is wait and see.

Writing, in Sickness and in Health

So I spent a frustrating five hours asleep on my couch today. I woke up this morning with a sore throat and aches, and had so much fatigue that I just couldn't function when I tried to sit down and do my work. So, lucky for me (as a freelance writer), I decided to take the day off and rest.

And now here I am writing a blog, even though I'm aching and tired. Because my writing has gotten to the point where it's like this little toddler tugging at my skirt. It wants attention. It wants to be done. It needs to be done.

I'm excited about this latest development actually, because I've never been able to focus my attention on anything for very long. It's part of the reason I love to write, because all of my projects require me to learn new things to complete them.

Right now I've got a book that's due to be finished. I set a writing deadline for myself, as I wrote about before, which I think was a really great thing to do. And even though I couldn't get any freelance work done today and I've had yet to work on my book, I did succumb to the urge to write even in sickness today. Here's what I did:

1. I finalized my book cover back copy, which I sort of wrote on a whim last night. I suppose I can always edit it later but I like it for the most part right now.
2. I talked to my graphic designer about my book cover and got the ball rolling on that.
3. I looked at formatting options for my text and, with my designer's help, picked a template I think will work nicely.
4. I publicized all of the above activity on both my website and on social media for the reading pleasure of the masses.

So I'd say, between all of that and this blog right here, I'm still having a productive writing day. But you know what I'll do now? That's actually a really good question. I may pick up the latest novel I'm reading (11/22/63 - it's fantastic), or maybe I'll go to sleep.

Or maybe, like last night, I'll find myself writing even when I hadn't intended to do so. It's just the way it goes, right?

Why I Dislike Writers' Critique Groups

Here's a challenge for my fellow writers: look up your local writers' critique group and scan through the submissions. And tell me if you can find a single positive comment on any work from any author at any time. And let's say you can...is it maybe five percent of the comments? Two percent? Less than one percent?

Am I cynical about these groups? Maybe. But I've participated in critique groups from time to time, although mostly I've done a lot of watching. And what I notice is that people will pick anything apart that they can find. This word is bad, that word should be changed, well don't use a comma there, oh don't phrase it that way.

And I'm all for constructive criticism. I think it's absolutely necessary and very beneficial to us writers.

But I also find it hard to believe that of all the writers out there, of all the writing I've seen, of all the writing of all time, that nobody ever says, "You know what, that's pretty good. I like it."

If Stephen King posted to one of these groups, I have to wonder how badly his work would be picked apart just like the rest of them. Actually I'm pretty sure I already know the answer. But perhaps this is why he uses a group of hand picked beta readers when he finishes his work.

I think my blog post today is just to express some frustration about all that. Because as a writer I really want to have good outlets for constructive criticism.

But I already know these groups will always find something wrong. Even if nothing is wrong. Because they will find something. It's the only option they have, it seems, even if there's nothing to find.

So for now, I'll stick to beta readers and my editor. And I think that's good enough for me.

Writing Is Scary

Today I'm here to say this: writing is scary. It's not really the writing process that's scary so much as the releasing process. You know, the part where you let it go and let other people read it. And here's why:

• It's personal to you.
• You might get criticized.
• It might be hated.
• It might be loved.
• You might make someone mad.
• Etc. etc., por fin, amen. 

Really the list goes on and on.

I have so many things I want to write about, a list so long that even if I wrote furiously every second of every day for the rest of my life I'd never get it all down. And yet most days I spend hours sitting and staring at a blank screen. Because I'm scared.

And when I get scared it's like stacking cinder blocks between the creative part of my brain and my fingertips. Nothing gets by, the blocks don't budge, I'm stuck on a road with no outlet.

So how do we, as writers, overcome this fear? Well I think sometimes we just don't. We fight through it is more what we do. We force ourselves to live in the moment, let go of the what ifs, and kick those cinder blocks out of the way with Herculean effort. Day after day after day.

And then when the moment comes to release your creation to be read...well, it's scary as hell.

But then you remember that all the good stuff in life involves risk. And if you're to affect this world positively in any way through what you wrote, then you've got to learn to let it go.

I recently let chapter 1 of my book go to some beta readers. And there's nothing that shakes your confidence more than finally letting your baby go. Because you don't know what's going to come.

But you know what? It's ok. I'll be afraid, and I'll ride that feeling. And I'll take any feedback I receive as constructive and I'll work on improving my craft.

Because writing is a craft, isn't it? And don't we all have to risk failing a little bit before we can create a masterpiece?

Creating a Writing Space

I've never been one to cater to the idea of having a defined space where I go to do my writing. I do have a desk in a corner of the dining room where I've established my home office. This, I had decided somewhere along the line, was a necessity. Sort of like having a cubicle in a corporate office.

But when it comes to my personal writing I never really had a set space.

Introducing: The Second Bedroom

Right now I'm sitting in a room that I've begun fixing up, with the intention for it to moonlight as a writing and reading space. It's our second bedroom that we've completely neglected since we moved in here a year ago.

This room was our own personal dumping ground for the stuff we might want to save for a house someday, or didn't quite want to part with, or didn't have display space or storage for. When two adults in their thirties move in together there is bound to be a lot of duplicate stuff and excess crap.

Well all that crap went into the second bedroom. My living room furniture included.

So this weekend I decided I'd had enough of this ugly space. I had tried to use it once or twice last week as a quiet escape to work on my book. And it was a fail. The energy was just...bad. How can you feel good (or inspired) when surrounded by mess?

Letting Go Of Old Dreams

I had this silly dream of someday buying myself a fluffy white chair and ottoman to go in this room, and I'd envision myself sinking into the cushions with a good book and a cat or two. And then I'd get a simple little wooden writing desk to set by the window where I could work on my latest novel.

I'd do this, I told myself, with the proceeds from my first book or from some windfall of freelance work that might fall from the sky. But then I took a look at the calendar (I'm not getting any younger and the financial windfall was nowhere to be seen), and I realized that I have a good space available. So why not put it to use now?

So I cleaned out the junk, I turned an old dresser into a display table for picture frames, I hung artwork that meant something to me on the wall above the sofa. I put a box sign on an adjacent wall about living your dreams, and I hung a pretty painting of a misty forest above the newly displayed picture frames.

And to the side, by the window, I hung up a plaque with the Ten Commandments. I had given it to my grandmother years ago and, as happens in life, it found its way back to me upon her death. It makes me think of her.

Presenting: My Writing Space

So there we have it. A newly created space that makes me smile when I walk in.

And I write.

I look up from time to time and I see pictures of people I love. I see a painting my best friend made for me of my cat watching me from heaven, a painting my husband made for me of a city skyline, and a painting of two intertwined black and white cats that I bought in Barcelona on our honeymoon.

And by golly, I like this idea of creating a writing space. It feels good in here.

And I've learned that the writing space doesn't have to look like whatever it was you had pictured in your head. After all, I'm still sitting on my nine year old, stained, battered, kitty trodden couch. But what it does have to do is feel good. And that's all you need.

Do you have a writing space?

Why You Need to Edit

There are people out there who subscribe to the idea that editing kills a creative flow. That it destroys the author's original message, or that it somehow tarnishes the work. Well I'm here to say that not editing is what destroys your message and kills your work. In fact, it's just about the worst possible thing you can do as a writer.

There is a reason that sitting down and "just writing" is called stream of consciousness writing. It's a very creative art form but it's also usually not very good, and often makes sense only to the person who let it flow out onto the page.

The problem is that (in my opinion) most of our writing originates in stream of consciousness writing. Think about it. We sit down, we write, and we put onto paper what's in our heads. It's how we get out of our own way and allow our creativity to shine through.

But the problem comes when you don't go back and look at that writing. Writing is a craft, after all, and that means there are certain conventions that need to be followed. If nothing else the writing needs to be error free and follow some sort of flow. Even better is, well, making sure it actually makes sense to someone else and that it says what you intended for it to say.

If you can't step back and look at your writing objectively because you don't want to risk "destroying" your work, then there is a good chance that one of the following things will happen:

• The writing will be full of problems
• The writing will be unreadable to anyone but you
• The writing will not tell the story you wanted to tell
• The writing will be labeled as crap, and nobody will read it

I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I say that editing usually makes or breaks a book. It's the same for any kind of writing - the first draft is never good enough to publish. Ever. Period.

Now there are varying shades of good and bad. Some first drafts come out in a flash of brilliance and are almost there from the start. But some are so far away from readable that they need to be completely rewritten.

All first drafts are called first drafts because they need editing.

As I've looked through some books by indie authors I can tell very quickly who edited their work and who didn't. And it's those people who give the rest of us a bad name by publishing material that nobody would have even looked at 15 years ago. But maybe that's my personal beef as a professional writer who really works hard on her craft. I don't know.

The point of this post is...edit! Edit if you want your work to be good. Edit if you want your work to be understood. Edit if you want your work to be bought and read. Just edit. Having our work read and understood is the reason we all write, isn't it?