Sometimes You Just Gotta Set a Writing Deadline

So I did something to myself this weekend. I put myself on a writing deadline to get my book finished. To elaborate: I talked to my editor, we discussed her schedule, and I put myself down for mid-September. Which means my book has to be done by then.

I may have stressed myself out a little bit.

Up until now I had been very leery of giving myself a deadline for my creative work. Will it stifle me? Will I get stuck? Will I freak out?

But then I decided that if I wanted to actually get it done, I needed to give myself a deadline just like I do with my freelance work. Because let's be honest, the projects that have open deadlines are the ones that almost always succumb to procrastination. It's so easy to just dilly dally around and sort of "get to it when you have time" rather than sit down and pump it out.

And I didn't want to give myself further permission to stall.

I hadn't been very strict with myself up to this point when it came to writing schedules or word count goals. I just worked on it when I felt like it, or when the mood struck, or when I had nothing else going on. And while I was actually working on my manuscript several days a week, overall that's not a great way to get something important accomplished is it?

Setting a deadline will force me to work my tail off to get that book done and submitted to my editor by September 15 no matter what I have to do. No matter if I have to work long hours, no matter if I have to work into the evenings, no matter if I'm tired, no matter if I'm frustrated.

Am I scared? Yes. I spent two hours editing today and only made it through seven pages. Am I feeling the pressure? Absolutely. The only job of a deadline is to put pressure on the person who has to meet it.

But is it a good thing? I think so. A dream only becomes a reality when you set goals, and I think that's what I've done now. So I feel like I'm one step closer to achieving it than I was before.

But maybe ask me how I feel in August if I'm still toiling away on page 148 and can't get it all together. I'll either fall completely apart and run away screaming, or I'll get it together and pump it out by my deadline (more likely).

I'm looking forward to a rewarding summer and a finished book this fall.

Writer = Tortured Soul?

So to start this post on a bright note (heh) there are plenty of writers who proved to the world, once and for all, that they were tortured souls. A few famous writers come to mind: Ernest Hemingway, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath.

Which begs the question:

• Are good writers tortured souls?

Which then begs a second question:

• Are they supposed to be?

I think for me, the writer = tortured soul concept has some merit worth discussing. I definitely feel like I've experienced just about everything (good and bad) there is to experience on this earth. And that's a good thing because it makes me empathetic, wise, and better able to understand people as a whole. All of this stuff all flows into my writing.

But it's also bad because I do fit the mold in some ways, meaning I do still have demons I struggle with. So from time to time I might find myself overcome by self-doubt, or hiding out in bed staring at the wall, or listening to the angry voice of my mother echoing in my head. And all of these things hinder me from moving forward in my work.

And while it's true that pain produced most of my good writing in the past, it's also true that torment isn't an essential ingredient for me anymore. Most days I actually feel pretty darn good on the whole, so I'm far from a Hemingway and I'm certainly nowhere near a Plath (she killed herself at age 30). And I still feel like I produce some good stuff here and there.

So I guess when it comes to the idea that "good writer must equal tortured soul", I don't think that's necessarily true.

But here's what I do think is true. I think a good writer has to have a certain amount of life experience (firsthand experience) to produce good material. Without it they can't create the intense characters, situations, and emotions that weave in and out of great literature.

But what do you think? Are most good writers tortured souls at heart?

Finding Your Muse/Inspiration

Today I've come to the conclusion that my muse lies in a coffee cup. And it's not coffee that's in there (I don't drink that stuff) but rather my homemade chai.

I think as a writer we'll take inspiration in whatever form it comes. It may take a while to figure out what does it for us, but once we find something that works we stick with it. Well I'm sticking with a warm cup of chai.

Whenever I'm stuck or don't want to get moving, I peel and grate some ginger, grind my spices using a mortar and pestle, and in about 15 minutes I've got the best milky tea drink on the planet steaming out of my cup. And a few sips later I'm off and running. It's like magic.

Chai isn't my only source. I find that if I spend my insomniac moments thinking about my creative work, often times something will materialize along the way. I also get inspired by nature, or by feelings, or sometimes while soaking in a hot bath. Or sometimes it's just the time of day (evening, usually).

I also get inspired by things I read (I wrote about emulating other authors yesterday) and that's perfectly groovy too. In fact, I'm finding that picking up someone else's book is a great way to figure out how to edit my own work.

What inspires you? Is it a person? A thing? A feeling? A time of day?

Emulating What You Read

Every professional writer will argue that to be a writer you must also be a reader. You simply can't be a non-reader. It's just not acceptable. It doesn't work.

And here's why.

Everything in life is learned from a teacher. That teacher could be your parent, your school teacher, your boss, your coach, or your significant other. In the case of writers, that teacher could also be an author whose novel you read.

One of the things I think good writers need to do is to ask questions of what they read.

• Is it engaging? Why?
• Does it suck? Why?
• Is it hard to read? Why?
• Does it feel shallow? Why?

And then when you figure out what does work, you can emulate it. Just as you would do as a student of any discipline in life.

I think there's no shame in trying to emulate an author (or authors) whose reading you very much enjoy. Because sometimes that process will lead to a light bulb moment of sorts.

Case in point: I'm reading a Stephen King book right now. I've never read any of his fiction but I did read his autobiography, On Writing, and was enthralled. I am equally enthralled by this book and I've spent some time analyzing why that is.

And today I went back and started the editing process over, AGAIN, on my memoir. And I tried to emulate some of what I'd figured out. And you know what? I feel like the new material is actually good now. I read it and it captures me in a way that it didn't before.

So to all of my writing friends out there, make sure you're a voracious reader first. And while you don't have to constantly analyze what you're reading (let's face it, sometimes you just want to read without thinking - analyzing constantly was exhausting in college), sometimes it pays to step back and look at the craft.

And there, you have your teacher. Simple as that.

Finding a Story's Direction

I had one of those eureka!, aha!, wow! moments a couple of days ago when I was meticulously editing my book. I had been really frustrated up to that point. I was only about 30 pages in with my edits (and had edited and edited) and I still couldn't get it to where I wanted it to be.

And I came to the end of a chapter and decided that it had ended too abruptly. Something was missing. And in an effort to fill it in, I wrote:

And so with this new curiosity I began an interesting journey through learning about yoga, loving yoga, hating yoga, and everything in between. And it all started with a crazy and totally left field idea to become a yoga teacher.

Bam! Pow! Right there! There was my story. In a completely blind moment I had finally figured out the story I was actually trying to tell. And all of those frustrating cuts of massive amounts of text were because what I had written simply didn't tell the story.

I think there are some writers whose characters run away from them and go off on tangents. Then there are other writers who have five different perspectives and can't figure out which one they're really going for. And then there are others, like me, who think of a base something (idea, character, topic) and then have trouble fleshing it out.

So when it comes to finding a story's direction, I'm not convinced that it's always there from the beginning. And I think that sometimes figuring it out is left to the gods - it'll come when it comes, the end.

For my part I was relieved to finally find a solid direction because then I have something more concrete to edit against. I can go along and ask myself: Does this contribute to the story? Does it tell the story? Or does it tell a different story?

Edit, cut, re-write. The life of a writer. It's definitely hard work!

Editor's Block?

I think I'm suffering from something I've decided to term editor's block. That being, I can't make myself sit and do my editing work on my book.

And it's not that I don't know what to do. I've got at least a dozen pages marked up in red and ready to be edited. Like right this second if I were to decide to do it. Which I haven't, because I'm writing this blog instead and trying to formulate other ways to procrastinate.

I've determined that I think I'm blocking myself on purpose because I'm afraid of moving forward. Afraid of finishing. Afraid it will be all for naught. Because as long as I don't have anything finished, and as long as I'm not engaging in that whole editing process, I can't really judge it can I? And herein is where I make myself stuck.

Because what happens if my judgment, real or imaginary, says that it just sucks? Then what?

When you identify yourself as a writer and make it a huge part of your life purpose, facing up to your work to see if you deserve that title is a really scary thing to do. And it's such a hugely personal thing that it's almost like taking a close look at yourself to see if you're really worth anything at the end of the day.

But by golly, says I, I will not succumb to editor's block and fear of failure! I will read my last blog post about finding time to write (the wine failed that night, by the way), and I will pick something from that list, and I will just do it like Nike.

Writing is a hard profession. For some people words flow out really easily (that even applies to me a lot of the times). But the words aren't always good, and that's true of everyone. And when the words need to be fixed (which is almost all of the time), editing can be a really challenging experience as you grapple with stuff like: How can this be fixed? Should I even bother? Is this any better? Is it worse? I can't tell anymore.

But how will I ever figure it out if I'm too scared to look? Anyone else have this problem?

Finding Time to Write - The Fun Stuff, That Is

Today I'm writing about the problem of finding time to write. And I'm talking about the fun stuff - your personal creative work.

If you are a writer by day (or if you work in any kind of profession that requires your brain power Monday through Friday) it can sometimes be hard to find the motivation or the time to knock out your short story, poem, or the next chapter of your novel. Heck it can even be hard to find time to write a tiny little ole blog post.

So today I'm going to give myself some ideas for getting it done. Some of these have been proven to work for me, and some of them have yet to be tested. Here's what I've got:

1. Make a cup of chai. It seems to have the power to rev up a completely dead writing brain.
2. Drink some wine. Alcohol can make me relaxed enough to churn something out. Too much, however, and I've got a blubbering mess.
3. Get out a timer. Saying "ok, just spend 10 minutes writing something" is doable right?
4. Make a schedule. Maybe if I decided I wanted to be done with my project by a certain date, I could backtrack and keep myself in check?
5. Take a nap. Sometimes it's better to just not do anything. Because paradoxically it can make you do something when you wake up.
6. Write about nothing. Like I'm sorta doing right now. Maybe someone will find this post interesting, or maybe they won't. But hey, I'm writing.
7. Carve out some unconventional time. I don't usually write on Saturdays, for instance. But maybe if I'm home I just ought to try.
8. Pet a cat. It's another distraction. Distractions can be good...or bad. It's worth a try.
9. Look at your bank account. Even if only one person buys your stuff, the prospect of having some income someday for your work should be motivating, right?
10. Make a public declaration of your goal. If you say to the world that you're going to do something by a certain time, well by golly it's suddenly quite shameful if you don't.

Ok so what will I try today? I did #1 already (making chai) and that got me moving on my freelance work. So maybe tonight I'll try wine. Mostly because I feel like having a glass anyway. Heh. 

And if that fails I'll look at my bank account. Viewing my checking account balance usually has me writing before I can even log out.

The Power of Visualization

So I was watching a YouTube clip this morning of Jim Carrey talking about the power of visualization when it comes to realizing your dreams. And then Oprah followed up with some commentary on how we have to visualize and then release it, and let it go. And then I got sucked into a clip of Will Smith talking about work ethic and determination, and how your thoughts are the biggest driver of your success (or lack of it) in life.

And that got me thinking about whether or not I'm using visualization enough (or at all) when it comes to my writing.

I'm an aspiring novelist and have been for many years. And instead of spending my time visualizing that goal, I spent a lot of that time focusing on my fears. Fears of inadequacy, fears of rejection, fears of never accomplishing that thing I was setting out to do.

And what good does that serve me, really? What energy am I putting out there and how is it going to materialize?

When I set out to become a freelance writer and grow my own business, I actually did spend quite a bit of time visualizing myself just as I wanted to be - a successful freelance writer, with my own business, and my own schedule, and a life that I felt in charge of. And with enough money to at least pay my bills.

And what am I now? A successful freelance writer, with my own business, and my own schedule, and a life I feel in charge of. And I somehow have enough money to pay my bills.

So today my goal is to begin shifting some of my energy towards visualizing myself as a successful novelist, too. Because I think half of the battle is just believing it can happen for you. Believing you can do it. Believing that what you set out to do will materialize.

And then once you put it out there to the universe, perhaps the universe can begin the process of making it a reality. Because if you read enough about the power of thinking, you learn just how much your own thoughts can influence the course of your life - both in your reaction to the things that happen to you, and in actually altering the types of life events that come your way.

So today, I visualize myself as a successful novelist. And the funny thing is that as I sit here and visualize, I find myself becoming less afraid of failure and more motivated to sit down and write. And not only ready, but eager, to face that scary process of cutting words from my manuscript to make it better.

And you know what? That's one step closer to my dreams than I was yesterday!

Editing. Er, Chucking. Ouch.

Last night I was editing the second and third chapters of my book, An Offbeat Path Through Yoga. I was working my way through my first round of red pen edits, where I examine the text from a 10,000 foot level and mark up glaring problems, pacing issues, and major grammar oopsies.

And last night I decided that sometimes editing should instead be called chucking. Because sometimes you look at the text every which way, tilting your head, scribbling in the margins, and then you finally say, "You know what? This just needs to be totally cut out."

And ouch, ooh, yuck. It hurts to throw away words!

I would raise an eyebrow at anyone who says the chucking process doesn't at least invoke a mild internal grimace. Because at this point you realize you have nothing to actually edit. It's just bad, and so bad that it needs to go.

Now cutting chunks of words out doesn't mean that the work as a whole sucks. I think it's important to try to figure out what story you're actually trying to tell, because there are so many stories and it can be easy to lose focus. And sometimes this means cutting out the wrong story so you can focus on the right one.

So the silver lining of it all is that you can redeem yourself as a writer for being intelligent and insightful enough to know what needs to go. Because who wants to publish a bunch of rubbish? I surely don't. And if the painful chucking process gets me closer to where I need to be, then I'll push forward and rip it apart.

A fellow writer told me, when I was afraid to begin the editing process, that I shouldn't worry about it. Because if for whatever reason it sucks, well, you can just edit it until it doesn't. And I think he has a good point.

So how do you feel about cutting chunks of words out of your drafts? Is it easy for you? Hard? Exciting? Please do share!

Life Affects Writing? Why Yes, It Does!

It's been a couple of days since I wrote a post, and that's because my personal life has been extraordinarily stressful. Which led me to think about how your life affects your writing, and how it evolves over the years (or decades).

It's not always the negative stuff that causes changes (or problems) though. I think changes in writing or battles with writer's block are a result of the natural course of personal evolution. As you become more wise, your writing changes. As you experience something new, your writing changes. As you experience loss, your writing changes or stops for a while.

All of life's experiences can be absolutely wonderful for your creativity or can be completely writer's block-inducing. Perhaps this is why writers say they need to be inspired by something in order to write.

What inspires you? What blocks you? Is it a feeling? A place? An event?

And then there are those dichotomies. Deep pain is often my biggest catalyst for some of my very best writing. But then deep pain can also make me sink further into writer's block than just about anything else on the planet. It's funny how that works.

I guess the trick, then, is learning to recognize those things (or feelings or settings) in your life that either inspire you or block you. And then figuring out how to maneuver around them or harness them into something productive.

I think the ability to maneuver and adapt can only come through practice. And living. And more practice. And then a fierce determination to just do. To just write. Without self-judgment. Because it's your dharma, as we say in yoga. Your purpose. The thing you were meant to spend your life doing.

As Forrest Gump said, "That's all I have to say about that." Happy writing!

Writing, And The Fear That It's Crap

So as I wrote in a blog post a couple of days ago, I finished a first draft of my book this past weekend. And it was quite an accomplishment for me after two unsuccessful attempts prior to this one.

But after the elation passed and I realized I'd have to look at what I actually wrote, I sort of became paralyzed. Although not exactly immediately.

Initially I picked up my big red pen with an almost frenzied eagerness. When the ink sputtered, I got out my trusty candle lighter to burn the tip and make it flow again. And I got down to it.

And I smiled. I smiled a lot to be honest. And started marking up that text left and right, up and down, scribbling in the margins and crossing out sections. But despite all the red, at no time did my inner critic question my sense of pride or my writing abilities.

But then I stopped. And I didn't look at it for two days after that, paralyzed by some weird unknown that was preventing me from even looking at this piece of writing I had worked so hard to create. I simply couldn't muster up the (guts? courage? energy?) to go near it.

And at some point during that time my mind drifted back to my college professor. I forget his name, and I don't want to remember. I studied English in college and only elected to take one creative writing class during my entire stint as an English major. And it was a poetry class.

We had to write 8 poems over the course of the semester, one every two weeks or so, and turn them in to be evaluated. I hadn't attempted to write fiction since I was a kid, tapping away at the word processor on the floor of the spare bedroom. And this was a writing class that I approached with quite a bit of anxiety and trepidation, already feeling like I was a failure before I had even started.

And when it turned out that the professor just hated, I mean hated, everything I wrote, I think something was altered in my psyche. It was to the point where he would use my work every other week as an example of how not to write. And after maybe five poems, I finally made an appointment to confront him about it.

"Why do you keep using my work, week after week, as your sample of bad writing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Every single time we turn in our work, and we're discussing it the following week as a class, you always use mine as your sample for the worst work that was turned in. Why are you singling me out like this? I'm trying my hardest. What do I have to do to get an A in the class?"

He looked at me, probably looking through me really. You see, his wife had hung herself from their ceiling fan so I knew he had a few issues. But it didn't matter, because he was a published poet and in his mind my writing was crap. And somehow, that meant his opinion was valid.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was doing that."

I looked him right in the eye, lasers, daggers, whatever you want them to be.

"Just keep doing your best. I will make sure to not do that."

And I turned and walked out.

And here I am more than a decade later, looking at this completed draft of a book. And knowing that it's my third attempt because I was convinced the first two were absolute crap. And I can't help but wonder how much of that mindset is due to this professor. This professor who instilled a fear in me of trying to create, and of showing my work to the world, and who convinced me that I was a paltry writer with no hope for redemption.

Of course I'm in my thirties now and I know that all writing is subjective. And to be honest, I thought his work was crap, because he made us listen to him recite it at readings. It was dark, weird, twisted, and disturbing. But then I guess I can see why that was the case.

But I think all artists have a deep fear that their work isn't good enough, don't you? The problem is when someone actively comes out and stokes those fears until they have burned down the entire building. If you know what I mean.

But I am not to be overcome by fears. Not when I could be halfway through my life and I still have a lot that I want to accomplish - writing a book being one of those. So last night I got out my red pen again and I finished working through Chapter One. And then I whipped out my laptop and started editing.

And I told myself that all will be ok, just work. Just keep working, keep writing. Fear is normal. The best thing to do is to keep at it, believe in yourself, and not let others' opinions paint your reality. Because that's their reality, not yours. And everything is subjective.

PSA: Email Subscription is Now Working

I like to think that maybe somebody, at some point, tried to subscribe to my blog. Whether or not that's actually true, well I'll let myself hold onto my wishful thinking.

But for anyone who has tried unsuccessfully to subscribe in the past, the "Subscribe by Email" link is now working! I try to publish 5 or 6 posts a week. So sign on up if you want to hear my ramblings on a regular basis.

Cheers!

Eat, Surf the Net, Make Chai, Take a Walk, and Oh Yeah...Write

Oh, the creative process. Sometimes I feel like the creative process for me is some sort of mysterious non-existent thing that happens while I'm doing other more concrete things. Things like eating, surfing the next, making chai, or taking a walk (as my blog post title indicated).

Hence becomes the frustrating part of being a writer - the writing part. And I chuckle to myself as I write this, because this is also the most enjoyable part of being a writer! I guess I should rephrase it to "getting started writing."

On any particular day I waste an exorbitant amount of time doing not much of anything, and trying to motivate myself to do that writing thing that I love so much. And it's annoying sometimes (like right now), and disappointing at other times (why can't I just do it like Nike?).

But I've also come to realize that this is just how my creative process works. I write in spurts and always have. That means I spend long amounts of time not doing a whole lot, and then I sit down to write and it's like my fingers can't keep up with my overflowing thoughts. I go into this sort of meditative state where, I suppose, everything that was churning in my brain while I was doing those mindless activities decides to reveal itself.

I don't think I'm alone in this dilemma. I think a lot of artists have a similarly difficult time actually sitting down and doing what it is that they do. I think we are the best procrastinators on the planet!

But I also think this is just part of the deal, either for me or for writers and artists in general. And when I tried to explain to my bosses back in corporate that I work in spurts, and just can't work for 8 hours straight every day and therefore need the freedom to piddle around a little bit, they'd often look at me with a combination of confusion and incredulity. Never mind that I always got my work done ahead of deadlines.

Pfft.

And so this morning I have eaten, surfed the net, grabbed a Dr. Pepper (let's face it, here in Texas it's just too hot some days for chai), attempted a walk/run (did I mention it's hot here? I was thwarted 10 minutes after I started by the Texas humidity), and now I'm writing a blog. Is it what I need to be doing? No. I need to be editing my book, or writing up a media segment, or otherwise doing some paying projects.

But that will come. Later this afternoon. After I've dilly dallied around a little bit longer.

The Best Way To Edit: Screen or Paper?

Yee haw! It's time to start the editing process for your first draft. So the question is, do you tap on your keys or reach for a pen?

I've found in my freelance work that I need to look at my copy in a different light in order to edit it. That means I need to move it over to a different format, whether it's a PDF version or a printout, or in the case of a blog post I put it in preview mode.

So as I sat here staring at this massive thing called a book manuscript, my first inclination was to print it out. Which I did. But then I started wondering if this is really the way I want to attack it.

Because although I've written millions of words (literally) in my career, I've never been in the position of editing a book. A user manual? Sure. But that type of document is so very different from what I have in front of me.

And I guess it comes down to what you are editing for. Maybe if you're editing for overall structure and to fill in large gaps, printing it out and taking pen to paper is probably worthwhile.

But then maybe once you get into the nitty gritty of copy editing you'll want to edit in the soft copy, because let's be honest...who wants to mark up typos and grammar issues and then go through and fix them on the screen? It's like repeating the process, and who has time for that? But then the question becomes whether or not you can really catch everything while looking at a screen (this is the point of printing it out).

As I think through it further, perhaps the best way to go about editing is to do some sort of hybrid of the two. Maybe you read the printed out version and make notes, while simultaneously typing up major rewrites or fixing typos in the live document. And then maybe when you're done, you can go back and compare and see what you've got.

So maybe that's where I'll start for now, and see where it takes me.

Do you have a method for editing your work? Please share it in the comments!

The Thrill (and Fear) of Finishing a First Draft

So yesterday, May 31, I finished a first draft of my first book. This was not my first attempt at writing a book, however. It was actually my third attempt. And because of that there is a certain amount of deserved elation with finally finishing a full draft.

So I spent most of yesterday allowing my brain to jump up and down, and to imagine the possibilities of what may be coming later this year (that being a finished book that someone might actually read!).

But there's also a certain amount of fear that flows with the feelings of pride and accomplishment.

Is it any good?
What if it totally sucks?
Does it make any sense?
Is there a story there?

After spending months of your life working on something as deep as a book, it's a little bit scary to think about actually going back and reading what you wrote. Because when you've allowed yourself to just spill words onto a page without analyzing as you go (which is what I had to do to finally get this draft done and out of my head), then you're left in some darkness about what you just spent the last few months writing about.

Not total darkness, I guess. But it does feel like you'll be reading it for the first time. And let's be honest, you kind of are. Writing your writing and reading your writing don't really happen at the same time. Not if you want to accomplish anything on your first draft anyway.

And so with thrill and fear I have sent my manuscript to Kinkos (ok well they call themselves FedEx now) to print out so I can look at it with completely fresh eyes. And a red pen. And make notes about what works and what doesn't.

But even though my anxiety is quite high, it's not high enough to replace the excitement of actually finishing a draft after two failed attempts. What a ride! May that excitement carry me through the editing and revision process, and help me stay positive and encouraged about the story I'm trying to tell.