Editing is a whole different ballgame than writing. Yes, it's technically the same thing - you write when you edit because you move stuff around, delete words, craft new sentences, etc. But editing comes from a totally different mindset than your initial draft.
When you're writing the initial draft your creativity is driving the train. You get to lose yourself in your mind, your words, your world. Which is not to say that you don't do this when you edit, too. But editing means writing while examining a world you already created, looking at it from a place that is separate.
When you are editing you act more like a critical reader than a writer. And when the copy still needs work, this process gets tiring after a while! So you put it down and go read a book that has already been edited, just so that you can rest your brain.
Now this predicament I'm in (being tired of editing) is really my own fault. I've let the editing process drag out for months because I just didn't have the mental energy to plow through it after a day of freelance work. I do think that if I was writing books for a living, I could maul that manuscript in about a month. But let's step back from that disturbing imagery (yeah, I'm tired of editing, I'm picturing a pit bull) and into reality.
The reality is that I'm on page 197 out of 287, and the last 10 pages or so have yet to be transcribed into the computer. And some of those pages need some rework, so I'm still about 100 pages out. And my due date is December 15.
But I have to have another surgery in eight days. And I'm still recovering from the first surgery. And my gallbladder is shot, which means parts of my day are shot from time to time because of pain. Oh, and did I mention I got a cold that lasted for 10 days and now I'm on antibiotics?
So it's sort of my fault, but then sort of not. I do have to eat and I do have to pay these atrocious medical bills, and that means that I have to focus on freelance writing most of the time. But I still strive to do more and to make more progress in my "aspiring author" endeavors.
I'm learning something really important about my writing self, too. I'm learning that dragging out the editing process makes me impatient. It makes me ready to get it done with and ready to move on to the next project. Which really isn't surprising because I get this way with my freelance work as I'm nearing completion.
I started reading a writing book today called "Bird by Bird," which talks about how so many aspiring authors focus on the publishing part of things. "I just want to get published!" "If I get published, I'll feel awesome and so accomplished!" But, she says, really the publishing part is not where the goods are. It won't bring you the fuzzy feelings you think it will bring you. Instead, she says, the writing process is where you get those feelings you are searching for.
As I was slugging and slashing through text tonight, I thought to myself, "I totally see this. I get it. She's so right." Because while I'm extremely excited to publish my work and to hopefully make some money, and of course my biggest dream is to be successful in my personal writing endeavors, I'm more excited about moving on to my next book.
That means writing again. Getting back into that immersion thing. Seeing where my imagination or my fingertips might take me next.
So yes, I could be transferring manuscript edits to my computer right now. But instead I came here to write a blog because I just needed to be in a world of creation again. I needed to immerse myself in my head and see what comes out. I'm so ready to write!
But I do need to finish my editing first.
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