As writers we all have to find our voice. That thing inside of us that comes out when we write and that is authentic to our true selves. And I think many of us, myself included, struggle to identify what our true voice is. Especially if we have to transform our voice to fit the molds of other people and projects, as I have to do as a freelance writer.
But I've been spending some time thinking about my voice lately, and what it really is, and what it means to find it. And the interesting thing about finding your voice is that once you find it, you sort of have to stay there. I mean, you do if you want to express whatever it is that wants to come out of you in your writing. You can't do it by pretending to be someone else.
As a yoga practitioner and someone who constantly battles anxiety and depression, I have realized the importance of where I live. Meaning what I surround myself with - what I surround my mind with. Because these things have and will influence it in a profoundly deep way.
When I think about the types of books I want to write, I have to also think about the fact that in order to write those books, I have to live there. If I want to write a dramatic book that is about life's hardships or that has a lot of sorrow and loss, I have to live in a negative place to do it. How else can I write it?
And then I ask myself...can I really live in that place? Do I want to? And the answer is no, I don't think I can. Because I spend so much of my life trying to get away from that place. It's already here all of the time...I can't run away to it when I write. That doesn't seem very conducive to writing success.
And I think that as writers we need to think about how living with our true voice will make us feel. I think when we find our voice, and we decide to move on in and get comfortable, we feel peaceful and content. We maybe even feel happy. And I think for some people that means writing about negative things, or scary things, or sad things. That's their voice, so there is harmony.
For me, I think my voice is lighter. I like to joke around. I like to try to keep negativity at bay. I want to feel happy when I'm writing because I've lived enough sorrow in my own life - I don't need to add any more to it. Which brings me to this conundrum:
My next novel idea is formed in my head, but the thing is...can I live there? Will it make me happy to live there? To tell that story? And here is where I'm not sure.
So I ask myself instead:
What story will make me happy to tell?
What will get me excited?
How can I build on the positive momentum I have going in my life and continue to push away the negative?
How can I tell stories, convey deep emotions, teach the lessons I've learned, without losing myself in a dark cloud?
I think if my first book, An Offbeat Path Through Yoga, is any indicator, I've learned I need to live in the happy. This book definitely delves into some deep experiences of my life but there is a touch of humor about it that keeps me humming. I like humor. Humor means you smile, and when you smile chemicals in your body are released that can't help but chase away some of the gray.
When I think about how I want to feel when I write books, I have decided I want to smile. I want to enjoy it. I want to share what I know but in a way that makes me happy. I think An Offbeat Path Through Yoga is the closest to my true voice that I've ever been, and is perhaps why it's the only manuscript I've actually finished. These blog posts are often tinged in humor as well, and it hasn't escaped my notice. Paying attention to yourself and your tendencies is important!
So as I move forward as a writer and begin to follow my true calling, I want to remind myself to listen to my voice. To maybe move beyond all of the sad life experiences and create something fun. Happy. Joyful. Silly. Humorous. Because why not? I've had enough sad already, and happy just...makes me happy. It's my voice. It's me. And the only way I'm going to be able to fulfill my dreams as a writer is to follow it.
And I'll start by finishing my editing work so I can get my first book out the door! *kicks self in the ass* *rubs ass with grimace* *smiles at silly self*
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